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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26648392">Unlikely Hero</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeftoverParadox/pseuds/LeftoverParadox'>LeftoverParadox</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides, Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood and Injury, Body Horror, Corruption, Dark, Explicit Language, Gen, M/M, Manipulation, Manipulative Relationship, Mind Manipulation, Rape/Non-con Elements, Remus being Remus, Swearing, Transformation, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:47:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,778</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26648392</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeftoverParadox/pseuds/LeftoverParadox</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When a new DarkSide breaks loose, it falls to Remus to save the day... in his own, rather unique way.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Unlikely Hero</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was a random idea, that quickly spiralled out into a full story.<br/>I might have had too much fun writing Remus's lines.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was, for once, a fairly peaceful gathering of the Sides. </p><p>Logan and Janus were engaged in deep discussion about how the process of time could prove that something that was once held to be truth could turnout to be wrong, and how that affected the actions of the peoples acting on that mistaken belief. Despite the subject matter, it was a civil conversation, and both seemed to be enjoying the back and forth.</p><p>Roman and Patton were on the other side of the table, trying to distract Virgil from Janus's close proximity, with moderate success. Virgil still was not happy that Janus had been invited to join them on more regular basis, but he had at least stopped hissing whenever the snake-faced Side walked into a room.</p><p>Janus, for his part, had stopped taunting Virgil any chance he got, and the two had reached uneasy truce.</p><p>Suddenly, Virgil stopped and jerked his head upwards.</p><p>“What was that?”</p><p>“What was what?” asked Roman, sword materialising on his belt as he strained to hear. Soon, there was a slow scraping sound, getting louder and louder. Everyone at the table looked, as the Duke merrily dragging his mace along the ground, rounded the corner with a bright wave.</p><p>“Lo fellows!”</p><p>Logan eyed the carnage of the corridor behind Remus and sighed. “Will you be cleaning that up anytime soon?”</p><p>Remus grinned, “Nope!”  </p><p>He started to look about, opening doors and peering inside. </p><p>“Fantastic.” hunching his shoulders, Virgil scowled. “What are you doing here?”</p><p>“Weeeeeeeeell. We might have something of a problem...”<br/>
Remus turned, and faced the collected Sides at the table.<br/>
“So you know how you guys get to stay topside more often, and us more... 'undesirable' Sides get shunted into the dark? Well there are more than a few problematic individuals down there. Janus an' me, and Virgil helped too sometimes, we locked some of the worse in the dungeon. Not the fun and kinky dungeon, though you know, I rather enjoy both... ahh, something about chains rattles my ---” </p><p>Janus clicked his gloved fingers, irritated. “Remus, you are rambling. Focus.”</p><p>“Yeah yeah, so anyway, I was down there, and saw that one of the rooms was empty.”</p><p>Virgil turned a paler shade, and Janus clenched his fist.</p><p>“Was it...?” he tailed off, not even daring to say the name.</p><p>“Hell's bells and tambourines no! I'd have been running through here with klaxons, and quite possible my hair on fire! No, it not a Code Orange. It was the cage done up like a discoball.”</p><p>Virgil was on his feet, “You let <i>him</i> out?!?”</p><p>Hands up, either placating or defensive, it was unclear. “No I did not. I'm not an idiot!”</p><p>“Could've fooled me.” Roman muttered under his breath. Remus blew him an exaggerated kiss, “Love ya too bro!”</p><p>“Are you holding Sides prisoner?” Patton said, “That seemed kinda unethical... Janus, there something you want to tell us?”</p><p>Janus, had already stiffened in his seat, and was looking serious.</p><p>“No time. Listen, it is very important you hear me right now. The Mirrorman is very dangerous. Don't look at him, not directly. We need to---”</p><p>Janus trailed off, as a new figure approached. His steps were soft, and his body shifted and moved like liquid metal. His face was blank, and sheened like a mirror's surface. He walked slowly, causally.</p><p>“Evening. I am very pleased to finally get to meet you all.”  He had a pleasant voice, akin to the ringing of a tuning fork.</p><p>“And who might you be?”  Logan dipped his head in a gracious nod, taking Janus's warning into account. He did not make eye contact.</p><p>“Reflection.” he gestured down his body, “Naturally.”<br/>
“I was disappointed not to be invited when Thomas was delving into the inner worlds of self reflection, but as I am sure you are well aware I was... otherwise occupied.”</p><p>“We only just found out that you were imprisoned, actually.”  Logan did note that while Virgil had taken to pacing nervously and Janus had shuffled backwards, Remus was not looking particularly fearful. He instead leaned in, as if watching for a show about to begin.</p><p>The Mirrorman held a hand to his chest, “Really?! Tisk tisk Deceit, not being up front and honest with your new friends? Well, I have managed to break free, so I suppose, no harm done.”  His tone was conversational, and relaxed.</p><p>Ignoring the Mirrorman, and avoiding his face, Janus turned to the other Sides, “He is not 'reflection'. He is Distortion. And you have to help me send him back.”</p><p>“Is it really right just to lock up a Side...? Without hearing him out or a fair trial?”</p><p>“More importantly, can we trust the word of a liar?” Roman scowled at Janus, </p><p>Sensing tampers starting to fray, Logan turned to Virgil. “You know more about this than we do --”</p><p>“Me too! I know all sorts of stuff. All sorts of juicy and wicked and depraved stuff....” Remus chipped in, and was ignored. </p><p>“What do you think?”</p><p>Virgil shook his head, and clutched at his hoodie, pulling it over his face. “I don't like him at all.”</p><p>The Mirrorman tipped his head to one side. “Oh? Strange. I rather like you Anxiety. Especially now, look how you've grown! Very impressive.”</p><p>“You bring out a side of me I don't want!”</p><p>“But when we last met, you were a Darkside. I reflected that. It's what I do.”</p><p>There was an awkward silence, as the divide between the Sides was mentioned. </p><p>“So... rather than standing staring at each other, what're we going to do?” Roman queried.</p><p>“Well.”  scanning between the collected Sides, Logan collected and collated what information he had available to him. “Janus seems set that he is dangerous, and Remus thought him enough of a risk to come and warn us.”</p><p>“Not really the two most trusted individuals...” Roman pointed out.</p><p>Logan continued, refusing to be derailed. “And Virgil says he doesn't like him, but things have changed since their last encounter it seems. Perhaps Janus, and Virgil and even Remus, you saw yourselves reflected and assumed that because those reflections were not positive/favourable, you decided he needed to be contained?”</p><p>“But he is not Reflection! He is Distortion. He takes what you are, and twists it.”</p><p>“I admit, my reflections might not always be very pleasant... but that is no fault of mine. And I hope you'll note, I have done nothing untoward that would demand I be thrown back in that... <i>cage</i>.” </p><p>Patton made a concerned noise.</p><p>“Don't!” Janus shouted, voice raised frantic, “Don't trust him! Please!”</p><p>Patton fidgeted with the sleeves that dangled from his shoulders.<br/>
“Its not that we are trusting in what he says, per say... but <i>you</i> have been known to be a tad  dishonest.... from time to time....”</p><p>Any ally in a storm, and Janus choose Anxiety, he threw open a hand and pointed. “Virgil doesn't like him!”</p><p>“Virgil doesn't like you either!”  Roman said, sneering and crossing his arms.</p><p>Virgil hid his face further.</p><p>“If I may?” the Mirrorman said politely, “There is simple a simple way to prove myself. Look at me. Do you see a light side, or a dark side?”</p><p>“Don't!” Janus warned.</p><p>Roman turned almost instantly. He saw himself, reflected against the silvered surface, and gave a winning smile. “Looks like a LightSide to me.”</p><p>There was a sense of held breath, as everyone watched to see if Roman would suffer some terrible consequence for not heeding Janus. </p><p>When nothing happened, eyes started to turn towards Janus. </p><p>Patton reached over to put a hand on Janus's arm, feeling the tension under the clothe.</p><p>“We have shown that change is possible... maybe we ought to give him a chance? Like we did with Virgil? And you?”</p><p>Mirrorman tilted his head, and faced a curled up hoodie that might have someone inside. “That's a good point. Anxiety, what do you see? If you truely have changed, then you will see something different reflected than before.”</p><p>“This is a trap....” Janus said, and was not listened to.</p><p>“I don't want to look.” then, quietly, “I'm scared to.”</p><p>“You don't have to if you don't want to” from Patton was said at the exact same time that Logan commented; “I would be interested to learn what you see.”</p><p>Hands came up and started to pull the hoodie back down, reluctant but with something to prove about himself now.</p><p>With a scowl, Janus hissed, “Fools. The lot of you!”  and in a flutter of black and yellow, Janus fled. </p><p>“Well.... that's not good. We might be screwed, and not in the fun way.” Remus remarked, adjusting his grip on his mace</p><p>“A snivelling coward!”  Roman proclaimed, “We don't need him. Go Virgil, show no fear!”</p><p>Virgil pulled back his hood, and looked at the Mirrorman. He saw himself, Anxiety, his powers harnessed and heeded to help. No more the monster of his past, he gave a little smile. It was nice to see that he had actually changed for the better. </p><p>Then, he heard a voice, his own voice, speaking to him.  </p><p>
  <i>I am supposed to keep them safe. How could I forget to warn them of the danger, of all the dangers...? There are so many dangers, all around... I'll have to step up my game if I want to keep them safe, keep myself safe.... </i>
</p><p>One by one, he felt extra eyes opening across his body. Looking for conformation that he was not imaging things he glanced back to the Mirrorman, and saw eyes, too many eyes, staring back at him.</p><p>“No!” he shouted as he doubled over, as the Mirrorman stood still, apparently perplexed.</p><p>“Virge, buddy, kiddo. You all right?”</p><p>“Patton, I don't think you should go near---”</p><p>There was the sound of ripping thread, and a thunderous voice ringing out “Get away. I won't let you hurt me!”</p><p>Patton pulled back, as the form blurred in front of them. Human shaped, and human sized, but decidedly unhuman. A myriad of eyes peered and stared across skin and cloth alike, his purple hoodie torn to tatters. They blinked out of sequence, and had hues of all colours. His facial features other than his eyes were hazy, and hard to make out, and he hunched defensively. </p><p>“What is that!?” Roman yelled, as the shadow form swiped at Patton to get more space. He took up his sword, and readied it at the beast.</p><p>“That, would be Virgil.” Remus said as he raised his mace to guard against the clawed creature in their midst. Or perhaps the Mirrorman, but it was hard to tell, “Only he ain't personifying Anxiety anymore, that there, that's Paranoia.”</p><p>Paranoia hissed, low and threatening, the threadbare remains of his clothes rising like static or the hairs on a cornered cat.</p><p>“Decent enough chap, if you don't mind nightmares. Only he's got more eyes now... So no more staring contests I guess... Unless you poke a bunch poke to even the odds....”<br/>
Remus tittered to himself, apparently taken with the notion, “Liable to lash out too, so maybe give him a bit of room, eh?”  Remus sounded strangely chipper, given what had occurred, almost fond as he described Virgil's new form.</p><p>Patton, hands held in front and ducking low. “Hey now, Virgil? It's going to be OK Kiddo...”</p><p>The Mirrorman, who had stepped to the side, turned to Virgil. “Do you think he might be trying to trick you. Maybe even throw you in a cell like you did me? It's dark in there Paranoia, dark and oh so lonely.”</p><p>Logan was quick enough to stop Roman from reflexively attacking Virgil as he lunged, but Patton was not as swift. </p><p>Patton was knocked to the ground, with a echoing “No! I will not let him!”, and Virgil twisting for a second swing. It smashed down, inches from Patton's head. </p><p>“Roman, retreat!” Logan tried to command, only to be shrugged off as Roman saw his friend in danger. Desperately, Logan clutched at his sword arm.</p><p>“You'll hurt Virgil. That is Virgil, no matter how he looks. We need to back off and make a plan! Don't be reckless.”</p><p>Reluctant, but conceding to Logan's wisdom, both he and the Logical Side slipped down and away. </p><p>Remus watched this with a raised brow, and huffed. “Don't mind me then!”</p><p>He turned, and saw Patton floored and trying to plead with Paranoia. It was not having much effect, and Virgil hunched over him. It was then that Remus was surprised to see that Virgil had put himself between Patton and the Mirrorman, that his heavy blow landed in just the right position to shield Patton's eyes from Distortion.</p><p>Patton, however, did not recognise the gesture and was trying to push past Virgil into the Mirrorman's path.</p><p>Remus brought a hand to his mouth and yelled. “Leave Morality alone now, he is plenty shaken up. Plus I heard that he is just a skin-sack filled with wasps; you split him open and they'll all come pourin' out!”</p><p>Paranioa recoiled, panicked, and Remus was aware that at the same time, the Mirrorman had turned to face him, his stance a whole less passive. Angry flickers of sharp jagged edges were forming about his body.</p><p>“Whoopsie!” Remus shrugged, laughing. </p><p>“Patton-the-prude, you better keep your eyes closed. Do not look. No matter what he says, keep 'em shut. Like superglue under the eyelids shut, 'kay?”</p><p>He took one last look at Virgil, and nodded, trusting his old friend to keep the Side of Morality safe.</p><p>Then, as he sunk down out of view, he muttered;<br/>
“Burstin' ball-sacks, Imma need some backup....”</p><p>*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*</p><p>Roman was inconsolable as he and Logan resettled into Mathematics, a corner of Logic's domain. </p><p>“How could you just leave Patton like that!?” he raved, as he flicked numbers and equations out of his way. </p><p>“Because we did not know what we were dealing with. Because your only course of action was to strike at Virgil with a sword, and who knows how that might have turned out. Because I needed time to think!”</p><p>Sulking, Roman threw down his sword. It clattered against the floor. </p><p> “So what do we do then!? Patton could be hurt.. or... distorted... or worse. We have to go back as soon as possible!”</p><p>“A calm head and composed plan will be more use than head-strong half-baked notion. Now shush, I need to concentrate!”</p><p>“It's like you don't even care!” he complained, restless, feeling useless. </p><p>“Of course I care. Both Patton and Virgil have proven themselves indispensable in terms of keeping Thomas happy and healthy. But caring is not an asset here, when what we need is strategy and tactics.”</p><p>Roman fumed, and stormed off to a corner nestled amongst multiplication and division, away from Logan.</p><p>Logan sighed, tried to push the worry he had for his friends from his mind. Worry would not help, not in this situation. </p><p>He took off his glasses, intending to clean them. He looked down, and saw the reflective surface of the lenses.</p><p>
  <i> All these messy feelings and emotions. They serve no function. I could think so much clearer if I did not have to combat with concern and caring all the time!</i>
</p><p>His glasses took on a mirrored sheen, and he straightened. He kept rigid posture as he replaced the glasses over his eyes, the discomfort of the pose no longer a matter worth the drain upon his mind.</p><p>“Curious.” he said, in a flat monotone, as he felt the temperature of his skin turn cold, almost icy. The colour changed accordingly, and he was pleased that the paleness collaborated with the internal temperatures of bodies fished from frozen lakes. He was consistent. That was good.</p><p>However, he had been working on how to help Patton and Virgil. Those things did not seem as urgent anymore. Rather, now, without the distractions of feelings cluttering his thoughts, he felt powerful and strong. Superior.</p><p>He took a fresh sheet of paper, and started to make up a plan for Thomas that would encompass all his needs, for-fill his life and, most importantly, reduce his dependence of the softer Sides with all their stupid emotions and compassion.</p><p>*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*</p><p>“Morality... I know you can hear me...”</p><p>Virgil, apparently not willing to stay too close to the Mirrorman Distortion, had stalked off. He could not see, but Patton was almost positive that he had heard a whispered warning to be on guard as he left.</p><p>He wished he could have wrapped up the troubled Side in a hug, and help him feel better.</p><p>He kept his eyes shut, as Remus had suggested, and so stumbled about trying to find his way blind. He had made it, stumbling at points, to the living area and sat down heavily on the sofa, wondering what he ought to do next.</p><p>The Mirrorman followed, amused. </p><p>“Where is my second chance? I thought you were Morality? Don't I get the benefit of the doubt?”</p><p>“You blew it when you did that <i>thing</i> to Virgil.”</p><p>There was a low noise that took Patton by surprise, and he heard something shuffling around the stairway.</p><p>It took great effort not to open his eyes and see if it was Virgil.</p><p>The Mirrorman laughed.  “Careful. He's got sharp ears as well keen eyesight. Watch what you say about him. Else you'll only confirm all his worst fears about himself. Like how he had to change to be accepted. Like how you only care for him when he can 'be good' and play along with the light Sides.”</p><p>“He knows that we support him no matter what.”</p><p>“Does he now...?”  the Mirrorman seemed contemplative.</p><p>Patton did not like that tone, and turned to where he thought Virgil was. “Its a shock, right enough, with your new 'look'. And I'll bet it is going to take you ages now to do your eyeliner...” he tried to laugh, but it came out wheezy, “Virgil, I'm here for you. No matter what.”</p><p>The Mirrorman answered, closer now. “How touching. So, Morality, let us put that to the test, shall we?”<br/>
“Paranoia is wild, and easily lead down deep and dark paths. It does not take much, merely a suggestion, to set him off in a panic.”  Patton felt someone stand in front of him, and he lifted his hand to his eyes over his glasses, guarding against having them pried open.<br/>
“I think then, you'll appreciate that if I wanted to, it would be oh so easy to manipulate him. Into harming himself or others, all under guise of trying to stay safe....”</p><p>In earshot still, Patton could hear something stepping quick, circling the living room.<br/>
“He can hear and I do not mind. It's all true, and he knows it. Down to his core, he is so afraid, so vulnerable. But it is not him I am interested in, it is you, Morality.”</p><p>The Mirrorman continued, “So I offer you a deal. Open your eyes. I will not force you, nor hurt you if you don't.”<br/>
“But, should they stay closed, I will turn my attentions to Paranoia. I will <i>hurt</i> him.”</p><p>Patton drew tight breath, and clenched his hands against his head so hard it ached.</p><p>“Virgil? Can you run away? Can you go somewhere safe?” </p><p>There was a pause, then, “No.” uttered like a moan of pain. </p><p>What Patton could not see, was that writ upon the Mirrorman's body, like a finger tracing letters through steam on a bathroom mirror, were words;</p><p>
  <b> If you leave, I will kill him. He will not even see it coming. If you try to warn him, I will torture him first. Make him crawl across shards of mirror. Grind glass into his food. He will suffer. </b>
</p><p>“Time to put your values to the test Morality. Will you risk your sense of self, or risk your friend?”</p><p>Patton smiled, “Its not even a question.”</p><p>He uncovered his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*</p><p>Janus was scared. </p><p>Distortion was powerful, and very capable of trickery, manipulation and lying to get his way.</p><p>He did not care for how similar the two of them were.</p><p>With a strong sense of self preservation, Janus turned his mind on how <i>he</i> might survive. He might have extended his scope, and tried to help others, but in truth he was hurt that he had not been heeded. </p><p>He could not help what he was, and Deceit would always be laced with negative connotations, but he had been trying so hard of late. It was not easy for him, to open up and be honest, but he was making concerted effort. The others did not seem to appreciate that speaking truthfully was a drain on him, was a hardship. Yet, when it mattered, he was not believed.</p><p>It stung, more than he would ever admit to himself.</p><p>Rolling his shoulders, he paced, and thought on the current crisis. </p><p>From what he knew of Distortion, he was powerful, but there were limits. You had to be able to see yourself, and in that reflection was his influence. He could take a reflection, and warp it. Contorted into extremity usually, aspects and personality that already existed twisted out of shape.</p><p>So, Janus thought, as he stepped back and forth, head swaying, if there were no 'true' self, then perhaps this would provide protection. It would be impossible to distort what was not actually there.</p><p>With a sad smile, Deceit played to his strengths. </p><p>He started to weave a series of lies about himself, little inaccuracies, bigger fabrications, some sarcastic statements and then some complete fantasy. </p><p>“I do not own a sunlamp.”<br/>
“I loathe tea.”<br/>
“Yes, I conjured an entire courtroom scenario to make my point. I was delighted with the outcome, it was a very for-filling day.”<br/>
“I can speak nothing but untruths when the moon is full.”</p><p>He crafted a whole new personality for himself, and repeated it to himself, over and over till he started to believe his own lies. It became difficult for him to recall, which of them were true and which were false. He took that as a good sign that his plan was working. </p><p> Over and over, he shrouded himself in deception. </p><p>He was pleased, thinking himself ever so clever when he caught sight of his hand. Encased in a yellow glove as usual, but now transparent, ghostly. Startled, he ran to the nearest mirror, the threat of Distortion paling in comparison to the fear of fading away. </p><p>In his reflection, he saw himself, see-through and ghost-like. He drew ragged breath, horrified, and tried to make sense of what he was seeing. With a low groan, he realised, too late, much too late, that by obfuscating his sense of self in lies and misinformation, he'd inadvertently eroded at who and what he was. </p><p>He did not know what about him was true, and what was made up. He did not even have any real sense of who he was anymore. He felt like an imposer in his own clothes.</p><p>There was a chuckle, and he caught himself before looking up. However, he saw the surface of the bathroom mirror ripple, and knew he had company.</p><p>“Oh my. I need not bother with neutralising you it seems. You've done my work for me! Was it worth it I wonder...?”</p><p>Janus tried to offer cutting retort, but found that his voice was soundless. He spoke again, and yet, could not make himself heard. </p><p>The Mirrorman laughed. </p><p>With a scowl, Janus reached for his cane. It felt heavy in his hands, and hard to hold. It took a great deal of effort, but he managed to swing it at the mirror and break it. </p><p>He heaved for silent breath afterwards, as the cane slipped from his insubstantial hands. It fell heavy against the floor.</p><p>The echoes of cruel laughter surrounded him, as Janus slumped down, curling down his knees and far more scared than before. </p><p>*-*-*-*-*</p><p>Meanwhile, Roman had dared to come through and see what Logan has come up with. He saw Logan, intent in his work and ignoring him. Nothing new there.</p><p>He gave a polite cough to attract his attention, but when Logan still did not lift his pen from paper or head from the task, he harrumphed impatiently. </p><p>He reached out, grabbing Logan by the arm and found Logan's skin freezing to the touch, so much so that it was painful.</p><p>He jerked backwards, hurt.</p><p>“Do not touch.” Logan said flatly.</p><p>He was changed. He sat stiff, rigid. His skin was a pale pallor, and his glasses mirrored which obscured the eyes. His tie had blanched and turned transparent, like a shard of ice. </p><p>“Logan?”  Roman frowned, having not seen anyone else enter. How had Logan fallen foul of Distortion?</p><p>There were no immediate clues, and the Side busily scribbling gave no hint either. </p><p>Then, he glanced down, figuring that he could at least use what Logan was planning to save the day. </p><p>The papers were writ in a neat and familiar hand, but the words were shocking. Logan seemed to be plotting how to instigate a mass take-over of Thomas's mind, and not trying to figure out how to counter Distortion at all. </p><p>“How could you Logan? You've abandoned your friends... when they need you most.”</p><p>Logan did not look up, but continue writing, “Friendship serves as a drain on energy and resources. Time can be better applied elsewhere.”</p><p>“Well, <i>I</i> won't abandon them!”</p><p>Roman gathered his sword, and set out as he had thought they should have done from the beginning. It felt good, righteous, the kind of quest he always imagined himself leading. Fight for all that is good, and vanquish the foe, and save the day. </p><p>He did remember, however, that Janus had warned against <i>looking</i> at the Mirrorman.</p><p>He torn a strip from his red sash, and tied it round his eyes. It was not ideal, but he had faith in his abilities. </p><p>Wearing a blindfold would certainly add to the dramatic tension of the final fight at least.</p><p>He stormed into the shared space, the last known location of the Mirrorman and called out; “Come and face me you fiend.”</p><p>Footsteps, and he spun to face them. He was proud that he could track the sound, and knew that the Mirrorman had stopped short of his sword-swing range.</p><p>“Well then.”</p><p>Roman struck pose, readying his sword.</p><p>“You will need to remove your blindfold if we are to face each other. It is not sporting to fight an opponent so handicapped.”</p><p>Roman laughed, and adjusted his stance. “Nice try, but you cannot fool me. I shall not look.”</p><p>He was about to launch into an attack when he heard a dark chuckle.</p><p>“Oh dear.... but you already did.”</p><p>With sick realisation, Roman recalled that he had already looked upon the Mirrorman.</p><p>Scowling, and refusing to be beat so easily, he trained his sword upon the source of the sound, and flicked his sword round. It cut through the air, and met with a block. It had the same feel as an opposing sword, but rang out strangely. </p><p>He pressed the attack, one jab, two blows, and each defended against, but at slightly strange angle. Roman decided, as he adapted his technique, that the Mirrorman wielded a sword that was part of his arm. The ringing and vibration, luckily, helped him to stay aware of where his combatant moved to, and when there was a strike swung towards him, defended against it deftly. </p><p>
  <i> Dashing, and so daring. </i>
</p><p>His footsteps faltered as he heard his own voice echo within his mind. He hit out again, with more force, determined not to end up a monstrous mess like Virgil.</p><p> <i>Such a prince deserves to be loved. Deserves adoration.</i></p><p>He paused, scanning for sound. The air around him was still and silent, save for the voice within his head.</p><p>
  <i>Skilful. Brilliant. Ever so brave, too good to be true.</i>
</p><p>The slightest step to his side, and he lunged, trapping the Mirrorman between the point of his sword and a wall. He pressed against the chest of his foe, to deter any attempt to flee.</p><p>“Well fought, good sir. I am bested.”</p><p>Roman was pleased, and proud that even without without his sight, he could win in a fight. </p><p> “Undo what you have done!”</p><p>He felt as the Mirrorman shrugged. “Outwith my control I am afraid. I only prompt reflection, the results are up to the individual.”</p><p>“Not Reflection. Call it what it is; Distortion.”</p><p>“If you deem it so....”</p><p>“Then...” Roman faltered, not having planned this far ahead into how the situation might evolve, “... go back to whenst you came, foul creature!”</p><p>“I cannot do that.”</p><p>Roman pressed his sword, frustrated. He felt the point scrape painfully against metallic surface.</p><p>“Why not?!”</p><p>“I do not think I could bear it.” Mirrorman's voice softened, “I do not think, now I have seen you in all your glory, that I could ever bear to be parted.”</p><p>“... You're lying....” Roman said, wary.</p><p>“If you do not believe, then I pity that you have lost such trust. But how could I resist one as fine as yourself?”</p><p>
  <i>So fine, so handsome.</i>
</p><p>Roman paused, uncertain. </p><p>The Mirrorman's voice, soft as silk, continued, “Let me show you how much I admire you, how much I want you. Please?”</p><p>Roman shook his head, “This feels like a trick.”</p><p>A sigh in the air, and he felt the tension under his blade relax just a little.</p><p>“Then cut me down. If you will not let me stay near, I think I would rather not be.”</p><p>Shocked, Roman's grip on the sword hilt wavered. “You'd give up your life?”</p><p>
  <i>But of course he would. I am a paragon. I am brave and complete, and deserve to be admired. Anyone with any sense would think death preferable to a life shunned from my side.</i>
</p><p>The Mirrorman pushed forwards, so that Roman had to draw back the sword or risk impaling the other Side.</p><p>“For you, my king, I would. If it would bring you even the slightest of happiness, I would give you my everything.”</p><p>Roman reached up, and pulled the sash from his face, needing to see if the Mirrorman was sincere.</p><p>He saw in the reflection golden eyes staring back at him, set within flawless face.</p><p>
  <i>How could anyone not love such perfection?</i>
</p><p>Roman lowered his sword, and smiled.</p><p>Reflected in the silver sheen of his skin, the Mirrorman smiled back.</p><p> </p><p>*-*-*-*-*</p><p>Remus came barging into the bathroom, and nearly missed that he was not alone. He rubbed at his eyes as he saw someone curled in the corner, half-way not there.</p><p>“Snake-face? Shit-biscuits, he got you already.”</p><p>Janus gave a sad shake of his head, and Remus was even more baffled.</p><p>Sighing, Janus tried to speak and soon Remus saw that he would not be able to hear an explaination anytime soon.</p><p>“Well fuckity-crap-whores.”  He leaned heavy against the counter, racking his brains for his next move. He jerked upright, and snapped his fingers (the bones clicked in strange and upsetting angles afterwards). </p><p>“Let's go find Poindexter. Maybe he has some brilliant scheme, cause frankly my best ideas right now are high-tailing it to the Dark, makin' some popcorn and seeing what chaos comes next.”</p><p>When Janus made no move to get up, Remus conjured a handheld vacuum.</p><p>“Don't make me suck you....” he leered, chuckling. </p><p>Reluctantly, Janus joined him as they hunted for Logan.</p><p>It took time, and more than once they had to stop for Janus to collect up his staff from where it had slipped from his fingers. Eventually, Remus took it up himself and made terrible and insulting impressions of the snake-like Side, till they came to a door that was frosted in ice.</p><p>“Hmmmm.”</p><p>Remus swung his mace through the door, shattering it. He stepped daintily through the wreakage “Knock knock!”</p><p>Janus followed, and almost recoiled at the sight. </p><p>Logan was surrounded in papers, and graphs, and charts. The air was chilled, but Logan expelled no breath.</p><p>“Book-smarts! You've got a new look...”</p><p>The figure looked up, assessed the two new entrants, and returned to writing. With his other hand he gestured to himself.</p><p>“This is Logic 2.0. Better. Improved.”</p><p>Remus gave Janus an exaggerated side whisper, “Didn't think it possible, but he looks like even more of a whale penis!”</p><p>He scanned round the room, and frowned. </p><p>“But where's Roman? Thought he was with you.”</p><p>“Roman left. Charged off into trouble.”</p><p>“Yeah, that sounds like him. But you didn't think to stop him doing something stupid and, or impulsive? Otherwise known as brave.”</p><p>“No. His fate is inconsequential.”</p><p>Remus raised a brow, and looked to Janus. “Eh... is it just me, or am I picking up some serious sociopathic vibes from the walking calculator here?”  he turned to Logan, “I know you were trying for 'cool', but you seemed to have crossed the line straight into cold. Frigid even...”</p><p>Janus circled round, and then saw what Logan was writing. He tried to speak, found the words fail him, and tapped his hand pointedly at the papers. His fingers as they connected with the table made no sound, and more worryingly, went through the surface.</p><p>Remus looked over, and snorted. “Constricting cock rings, this looks awful!”</p><p>“It is a very carefully drafted plan for Thomas's next 20 years. In exacting detail.”</p><p>“I'm so bored just lookin' at it I just might haemorrhage!”</p><p>Remus turned, and used his imagination to conjure a set of hot water bottles, in various lewd and crude shapes. He set them on the far wall from where Logan was sitting, and gestured to Janus who had started to shy away from Logan's chilling presence.</p><p>“Janus, stay here, make sure this one doesn't start a hostile takeover, and Imma go see if I can't find Virgil and Roman. Nuzzle up to the boobies if you like!”</p><p>He was about to head back out into the corridor when he heard something outside, sweeping by.</p><p> “He is looking for you. He is coming for you.”  </p><p>It was ominous warning, and would have been scary if Remus had not helped Virgil practice that exact drawl to make it the most fearsome possible.<br/>
“I found Virgil!” he said, jerking a thumb towards the shattered doorframe.</p><p>He stepped through, mace over one shoulder and smirking to himself. </p><p>“However, cumming first, without me? How rude.”</p><p>He could not see Virgil as he headed down the corridor, but made haste in the direction he thought he had heard the voice. </p><p>When he found nothing in the lower floors of the approximation of Thomans's flat, he moved to start up the stairs.</p><p>In the bedroom, he found his brother.</p><p>Roman was wrapped in embrace with the Mirrorman, a silvered hand caressing with tender touches against a flawless porcelain masked face. Roman's eyes were gilded gold, and he wore a glimmering crown that curled into his forehead like thorns.</p><p>He basked in the affection shown to him, both from the Mirrorman directly, and then again reflected off his silver skin.</p><p>He looked grand, and to Remus, heartbreakingly, he looked happy.</p><p>Roman turned slightly to see the intruder, and sighed with irritation.</p><p>“Go away Remus, no one wants you around.”</p><p>He waved his brother away, and pressed a sultry kiss against the Mirrorman's blank face.</p><p>Remus shrugged, “I'm used to that, frankly. Yo, Not-so-funhouse-mirror, heard you were seeking me out. Well, here I am!”</p><p>The Mirrorman turned, and Remus ducked his head in a grand bow to avoid looking at him directly.</p><p>He heard the Mirrorman shift to stand, and lay gentle kiss against Roman's forehead.</p><p>“Darling, I shall just be but a moment.” </p><p>Roman blinked, slowly, “....There is no need to hurt him. Send him back to the DarkSide to skitter amongst the shadows...that would be best.”</p><p>The Mirrorman curled into a kneeling position, “My king, I swore myself to you and your safety and protection. I will not let anything, or anyone, jeopardise your happiness.” </p><p>Roman scanned across the floor, but his eyes were golden and reflective, and seemed to have trouble seeing past what was immediately in front of him. As Remus stayed still, those eyes cast over him, ignoring his presence.</p><p> “Let me deal with this last inconvenience, then we can be together in peace.”  crooned the Mirrorman.</p><p>Roman nodded, his crown seeming heavy on his head, “Yes... together...I want that...”</p><p>In rapid half-skip, half-step, Remus circled round. He kept his gaze low, but was grinning wide.</p><p>“Last inconvenience? So you saved the best till last? Oh goody.” he clapped his hands, “what do you think I'll get to be. Maybe schizophrenia, that'll be some good fun to properly torment Thomas. He thinks me impermeable? Ha!! I'll blast his mind with hallucinations that seem so real he'll struggle to tell what is and isn't my doing! Oh oh, how about this, let's go full serial killer! We'll target everyone with a YouTube account!”</p><p>The Mirrorman seemed intrigued.  “You... are excited by this?”</p><p>Remus knew too well how annoying it could be to be constantly dismissed or feared or ignored. He beamed, the possibilities of how to warp himself into something powerful and loud playing out before him.</p><p>“Surely am. Bet I can conjure up something truly twisted for myself! Oh , I've got a fantastic idea!”  Remus danced in a giddy skip, and walked right up to the Mirrorman.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Eat shit!”</p><p>Remus swung his mace, connecting solidly with an unsuspecting Mirrorman. His surface cracked like glass, and shattered into pieces upon the floor. For good measure, Remus struck again, causing the Mirrorman to slump over, unmoving.</p><p>Behind the broken pieces, Roman jolted upright, his face blank but his voice horrified.<br/>
“NO!! What have you done!!?”</p><p>Remus leaned on the hilt of his mace, bending to scoop up with of the shards.</p><p>“Marking my territory, minus the piss-stains. Only room for so much crazy disruption round these parts, and I got it pretty well covered....”</p><p>Roman, eyes sunset golden, rose to his feet. He was glorious, decked in glimmering threads and laurelled with a crown that gripped so tight it drew blood. His sword too, was polished, and Remus did not fancy testing to see if it cut as sharp and fine as it looked. He approached, eyes narrowed and sword held in front.</p><p>“You will pay for what you have done to my Love...”</p><p>“Damn and donkey dicks, I was really, <i>really</i> hoping that'd shattering his face might shake y'all out your altered states.”</p><p>He was about to make a plea to his brother's sense, if there was any sense left, when he found himself beset by a furious flurry of sword strikes. Remus stepped back, and managed to bring up his mace to block. </p><p>Chips of blackened iron flicked from the collision, and he was forced back another pace. He pulled back further, defensive, unwilling to strike against his brother when he was not in his right mind. </p><p>Roman swung again, and again, each time Remus just managing to avoid the blade. He hated to admit, but Roman was the better fighter of the two, even when he was not driven by incandescent rage.</p><p>Another swing, and Remus saw that he had been cut. He looked down at his arm, and huffed, not horrified but intrigued. </p><p>“All right, first blood to you.”</p><p>His jaw clenched, when he saw that Roman showed no signs that he intended to stop, and brought his sword round again, close enough that Remus could felt the draft caused near his face.</p><p>He looked to his brother, creativity's other half, and sighed.</p><p>“Oh bro, you got got bad huh?”</p><p>Remus was tiring quickly, and Roman seemed set on his destruction. Normally, he'd delight in Roman showing a darker edge, and tease him mercilessly and hope for distraction, but while he was embodying some form of grandiose perfection, the nature of Roman's distortion seemed to grant him power beyond what Remus could challenge.</p><p>Which only left Remus with dirty tricks. </p><p>He spat, a thick glob of unpleasant coloured spit flying though the air and hitting Roman in the face. As he shouted in disgust, Remus took the opportunity, and sunk out, with a last apologetic glance at his brother.</p><p> </p><p>*-*-*-*-*</p><p>Remus was not a good guy, not by any stretch of his considerable imagination, but he was also not as stupid as everyone assumed. </p><p>He knew his role, and rather than thrash and rail against it, embraced the dark thoughts conjured by creativity.</p><p>However, he was beset by ideas, all the awful and horrible things that were deemed bad or negative, constantly. Hard to keep a steady train of thought, when his head was full to the brim of vomit and maggots and decay and decadence.  </p><p>Careful planning was not his usual remit, so when he wanted to hatched a plot, Janus was always his first choice of accomplice.</p><p>He made his way back to the frozen doorway, stepping in and seeing the situation very much unchanged.</p><p>Logan did not even pause in his writing.</p><p>“Hey J.” he said, as he flopped down next to Janus who was curled, and faded further. The hot water bottles were lukewarm, and set up like a nest, or defensive barrier against the pervasive chill in the room.</p><p>  “Mirrorman is down for the count. He'll take a couple of days to reform at least I think.” he pulled out a large piece from his trousers, “Especially since he is missing a piece!”<br/>
He replaced it, “a bit too sharp to be sultry, but tantalisingly kinky as all get out.”</p><p>He looked over to Janus who was trying to speak, and failing.</p><p>He cocked his head to the side, “You not done with your fart impression yet?”</p><p>Janus glared.</p><p>With a sigh, Remus looked Deceit up and down, and scratched at his moustache.</p><p>“So... you seem to have lost sight of yourself. Can't you just, remind yourself of who you are?”</p><p>Bowing his head, feeling foolish for getting himself in such a state, “I don't know anymore!” Janus mouthed angrily.</p><p>Remus laughs, brightening up instantly, “No biggie then!”</p><p>Janus raised a brow, questioning.</p><p>“'Cause I know you Janus.”</p><p>“You like your tea with milk, but no sugar. You have to fight the urge to dip your tongue into it, and you flick it out into the cup when you think I ain't paying attention. You have a napkin in your right pocket for when your snake-side jaw doesn't seal, and you dribble tea down your chin. That happens more that you like to admit. You drink your tea with a tilt to your head as a result. It makes you seem sceptical and smug, even if you're only having a hot drink.”</p><p>Slowly, Janus's form started to solidify.</p><p>“You're wicked smart, and ain't above holding a grudge. When Virgil left, you got real mad, and then real sad. You waited at the door like he was going to come back for weeks.... I know cause I was there too, like a pair of abandoned dogs at the pound waiting for Sleep-day. I still don't know if you were going to strike him or hug him if he came through... and when he didn't.... it hurt you deep.”</p><p>The colours of his clothes started to deepen.</p><p>  “I know, Janus, that you find it so hard to trust in others, because you know all too well how easy it is to lie. I also know, for a fact, you have been lying less of late. It does not come natural to you, and you are more tired than usual as a result of fighting back your impulses. You never bothered to do that with me. I knew well enough that no matter what words you spoke; true, false, sarcasm, sincere, you likely did not exactly <i>like</i> my actions and things I said, but understood it was part of me as the unbridled and wild creative side left to rot in the Dark. We drive each other crazy sometimes, but underneath it all, I know that you are there for me, just like I am here for you.”</p><p>Janus seemed to be struggling to keep his expression stern and aloof as Remus spoke, and he stared, his mouth slightly open in surprise as Remus's words.</p><p>Remus grinned, “And I know, like a snake, you got two penises.”</p><p>Janus scowled, and hit him on the arm, hard. He was surprised at the contact, and looked at his hands, and found them real and himself again. A heavy sigh of relief slipped past his lips, hissing slightly. The sound was immensely welcome, after so long rendered silent. He grabbed for his staff and got to his feet triumphantly. </p><p>He rolled his eyes at Remus, “Can you really not go for more than a moment without referencing genitalia?”  his voice was dry.</p><p>Remus giggled. “Can't blame me for trying! That would have been really fuckin' funny if you'd believed me, and brought double dicks into being in your trousers!”</p><p>Janus shook his head, the thought not worth contemplating. He looked over to Logan, and straightened his shoulders.</p><p>“Now that I can actually be heard, perhaps I can talk some sense into this one. You should go and see what can be done about Virgil. He is likely not enjoying this turn of events one bit.”</p><p>Remus nodded. </p><p>Just as he was about to venture out, Janus added; “I am not at all grateful.”</p><p>Remus cackled, and set off with a lighter step than before.</p><p>*-*-*-*-*</p><p>Roman was still on the warpath, but it was easy enough to avoid him, as he marched back and forth seeking out Remus. Roman might have been the better fighter, but Remus was more sneaky. He stuck to shadows, and doubled back on his path, and managed to keep out of his brother's way.</p><p>In traversing the darkest corners, he came across Virgil.</p><p>Hunched and wary, the multi-eyed figure almost turned and fled, till Remus set down his mace and stepped backwards, allowing space. </p><p>“Mister Mirrorman has unfortunately suffered a bout of head-bashed-in-syndrome, and will not be up for smarm-ing about any time soon. One less thing to worry about, eh?”</p><p>“...Plenty other things...”</p><p>“True!”</p><p>Remus brightened, and came forwards.</p><p>“Do you remember, how we used to sit up all hours and plot all sorts of things to panic Thomas over. Laundry lint catching fire, runaway buses, rabid raccoons! Oh it was such fun! And you made him really worry; like losing sleep and looking up how to test for rabies worried.”</p><p>He laughed, and sat himself down cross-legged, close, and unaffected by the eyeballs staring at him.</p><p>  “I miss that, you know. The others might not get ya, but I always appreciated just how intense Paranoia could be. You could turn the tiniest thing into a tragedy waiting to happen!”</p><p>Paranoia blinked, all down his spine. </p><p>“But,” Remus said, a little sadly, “you wanted to do more. To be more. You figured out a way to tempter the fear and panic of Paranoia into Anxiety, and find a voice that was more helpful than horrible. And its been good for you; I don't like to say out loud, but you seem happier topside. And those LightSides haven't bored you to tears yet!”</p><p>He rested his chin on his hand, and scuffed a shoe across the floor, making it squeak loudly. </p><p>“Virge, you've done it once, all on your own. When you don't want to be Paranoia anymore, well, you already know what to do.”</p><p>He sighed, and got to his feet. </p><p>“So hey, I gotta go see what to make of your buddies. They're in bad shapes and sorts, and while it might be entertaining to have them run around and cause a bit of chaos, if Thomas wakes up to find this mess, I know he'd gonna blame me! Catch you later, Eyeballs!”</p><p>Remus then giggled to himself, and muttered, “Balls....”</p><p>Behind him, the hazy figure shuddered and shook. The Duke turned, curious, to see Anxiety re-emerge in a brand new hoodie, and looking exhausted. The bags under his eyes were not just make up anymore.</p><p>He looked at Remus, and opened and closed his mouth several times, before finally finding his words.</p><p>“Remus, thank you. But when did you start talking such sense?”  he looked wary, that Remus was acting strangely.</p><p>“When all the rest of the Sides checked into crazy town I think!” Remus scowled and rubbed at his head, “Sanity chaffs, is it supposed to chaff inside your skull? I do not care for it.”</p><p>Virgil stepped up beside Remus, “Then lets go find the others.” his eyes widen as he remembered, “Patton!”</p><p> It did not take much searching to find him.</p><p>A gaunt figure was on his knees in the kitchen, his clothes ragged and threadbare. His glasses were cracked, and one of the lenses was missing. He was scrubbing at the mace marks Remus had left, and his fingers were bloodied and showing the white of bone at the tips. He was leaving trails of blood in his wake as he tried to clean up.</p><p>“That is some fucked up finger painting!”</p><p>Virgil crashed down on his knees, heavy, and grabbed Patton by the shoulders. </p><p>He shook him,  “Patton, Patton it's me. Look. Pop-star?”</p><p>Patton's pupils were pinpricks, and set still within his eyes. He looked up, and gave a sage nod. “Virgil. I am glad you are all right.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. But what about you? What happened?!”</p><p>“I learnt my true purpose, my higher calling. I must attend to the needs of others, above all. I am Martyr.”</p><p>Virgil looked down at the floor, and the blood.</p><p>“Patton, you can't keep this up. You're going to hurt yourself!”</p><p>“My hurts are of no consequence. There is work to be done.”</p><p>Virgil turned to Remus, desperate.</p><p>“What do we do?”</p><p>Remus shrugged, “I have plenty ideas, but none that are going to help matters. Unless you think he'd like a squid down his trousers...?”</p><p>Virgil looked back to the figure working himself to the bone quite literally in front of him. “Patton, You are my best friend. I love you.” Virgil braces, then gives Patton a hug. </p><p>Gently but firmly, Martyr pushed Virgil away and returned to the work with single minded determination.</p><p>“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Martyr quoted, solemn and sincere.</p><p>Shocked, Remus raised both brows, “Whoo he got darker than a goth in a  power-cut at midnight. Suddenly it might not be so dull around here!”</p><p>“Remus!” Virgil hissed, upset.</p><p>“What? A little gallows humour seems fitting. You know, put the 'fun' in funeral!”</p><p>Patton's lips quirked in a half smile.</p><p>“Remus!” Virgil pointed, suddenly hopeful. “Patton likes dad jokes, and puns. You got anymore?”</p><p>“Sure, but don't expect anything too cheery! Hey Patton, you know what will happen if you work yourself into an early grave? You'll be dead tired!”</p><p>Patton chuckled, softly.</p><p>He looked at the trail of blood, and giggled to himself, “Reminds me of the time I tried to donate blood. It was awful, they kept asking whose blood is was, where'd I get it and was my bucket properly sanitised!”</p><p>Patton's pupils started to grow, and he stopped scrubbing. He lifted a hand up saw the state of his fingers, he tilted his head, as if thoughtful. “Bet you can't guess my blood type....”<br/>
his eyes<br/>
“Be positive!” he laughed, as his fingers restored.</p><p>His clothes and glasses mended, and he no longer looked half-starved. He was about to get up from the floor, when Virgil leapt on him for a hug.</p><p>Remus stood back. He was not used to solving problems rather than causing them, and had very little experience in the etiquette for such situations. </p><p>Patton then stood up and wrapped his arms round him. It was weird, and Remus was not sure he liked it. He squirmed.</p><p>Patton continued to hug him, only to pull away when Remus started to fondle his rear.</p><p>“Hey now mister! I'm grateful, but let's keep things PG, eh?” </p><p>Remus grinned, “You got it... Daddy.”</p><p>Feeling more like himself and all the better for it, he sauntered onwards, leaving Patton blushing and Virgil trying very hard not to laugh. </p><p>While still keeping an eye out for Roman (it seemed the way was clear) and Remus led the others to reunite with Logan.</p><p>Janus, as it turned out, had been having very little luck with Logan. It was not helped that he had to keep distance, Logan emitting such a chill that it was uncomfortable for him and his snake-blood.</p><p>Patton whispered at Janus and Remus, “So if Logan isn't Logic anymore, who is he?”</p><p>It was Logan himself who answered, “Logic 2.0. Efficient, and effective. Unhindered by feelings and emotions.”</p><p>“And about as compassionate as a lit stick of dynamite in a pet shop.”  Remus added with a smirk.</p><p>“Well then, maybe he just needs to be reminded of who his friends are!” </p><p>Janus warned too late, as Patton reached to hug Logan, and yelped as he made contact. He came away with freezer-burns.</p><p>Figuring that the others knew Logan best, Remus shuffled backwards, and used one of the spikes of his mace to pick between his teeth.</p><p>Virgil had been sent to fetch blankets to try and warm Logan up, and Janus was trying to debate that Logic cannot exist separate from emotions, as emotional response was vital factor in understanding datasets and results in any experiment featuring human subjects. </p><p>Patton suggested that maybe, Janus might not want to encourage viewing human beings as 'test subjects', to which Janus conceded his point and fell quiet.</p><p>Meanwhile, Virgil had brought back both a pile of blankets, and a jar of jam.</p><p>Patton beamed, and took it to Logan immediately.</p><p>“Oh Logan, look, it's your favourite, Crofters!”</p><p>“There is no favourite, merely preferable option at any given moment.”  Logan looked up, and fixed Patton with a hard stare, “Besides. figments do not require sustenance.”</p><p>Patton tried to tempt Logan further, but was disregarded. </p><p>Seeing this, Roman got an idea. He hopped over and grabbed the jar. “Gimme that! Let's try pushing a bit beyond what he is practised in ignoring, huh?”</p><p>He popped open the lid, and let it fall to the floor, and took two fingers. With a squelch he started to dip them into the jam, making the lewdest noises he could. </p><p>Patton flustered, and was about to demand Remus stop, when Virgil tapped his shoulder. “He helped me, and he helped you. Let him try...”</p><p>“Ohhhhhh” Remus moaned, “Feels so good between my fingers! You <i>sure</i> you don't want some, cooler-than-thou?”</p><p>“No.”  the answer was curt.</p><p>Remus grinned, showing sharp teeth, “Aw, I think you're fibbing. Don't worry, I plan to share!”</p><p>He removed his fingers, and before Logan could react, smeared them over his top lip in an approximation of a moustache.</p><p>He laughed, merrily, “Lookit! Twinsies!”</p><p>Logan wiped off the jam with a slight scowl. “Cease and desist.”</p><p>Remus gave a crooked grin, and leaned in closer. “Nah!”</p><p>He started to flick jam at Logan, mostly missing, but occasionally catch his papers or face. He was chortling to himself as he did so, sitting on the desk and swinging his feet.</p><p>“Stop it.”</p><p> Remus continued.</p><p>“Stop it.”</p><p>A large splat landed to one side of his mirrored glasses.</p><p>“Stop it.”</p><p>Some jam caught him in his ear.</p><p>“Stop it!”</p><p>Logan slammed his hands down on the table (into another patch of sticky jam) and glared at Remus menacingly. </p><p>Remus gestured, delighted, “Bingo. One hot headed calculator-man!”</p><p>Logan's colour had returned to his cheeks, and he breathed heavy trying to calm himself. As he counted back from ten his colour started to shift back to pale and cold.</p><p>“We need to make him feel more emotions!” Patton cried, seeing their success revert before their eyes, and before he could offer a suggestion, Remus had hopped down from the desk and grabbed Logan firmly by his shirt and pressed his mouth against his lips. </p><p>“Mawh!” Remus exclaimed, as Logan pulls away, blushing, retching and flustered.</p><p>Remus checked off of his fingers, snapping them down as he counted, “Let's see, anger, irritation, frustration, then plenty of embarrassment and disgust. And scandal!” he squirmed in delight, “oh that one has plenty of taboo and shame and temptation....all thrown in for free!” </p><p>He looked over, and leered, “Shall we do tongues next?”  he stuck out his tongue and wagged it suggestively.</p><p>“That will not be necessary.”  a strained voice replied.</p><p>Logan's colour returned as he straightened his neck tie, his glasses clear once more.</p><p>He blinked, seeing everyone staring at him. “I am myself again. Albeit through rather... unorthodox means...”  he adjusted his glasses, and gave Remus a disapproving look.</p><p>Virgil visibly relaxed, and Patton swept in to hug against Logan tightly. </p><p>“Welcome back!”</p><p>“And you are welcome for me savin' your butt!”</p><p>Extracting himself from Patton's arms, Logan gave a small nod. “Thank you Remus.”</p><p>Remus took a small bow. Then winked at Logan, “Any time! Maybe next time,  I'll skip the jammy foreplay and go whole hog, and let you taste necrotising gums... all over!”  he bared back his lips, showing jagged teeth sticking out from blackened and rotting gums.</p><p>Logan gagged, and ran for the bathroom at the thought.</p><p>Remus threw back his head, and cackled.</p><p>*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*</p><p>“I don't like the idea of you facing him alone.”  Patton said, with Janus nodding in agreement.</p><p>“He's my brother, and the lot of you look like shit boiled over.” Remus said, swinging his mace perilously close to the wall. “Take time to rest. I'll be fine, or get my head chopped off. Either way, you'll need some recouperation before you start on plan B.”</p><p>“That does seem.. sensible.”</p><p>“Besides,” Virgil pointed out, “Remus has been doing fine doing things his way so far.”</p><p>Reluctantly, Janus stood back and let Remus head out to hunt down his brother.</p><p>He found him back up in the bedroom, cradling broken pieces of the Mirrorman. The shattered fragments were laid out in the shape of a man, but lifeless and still.</p><p>Roman scowled as Remus approached, radiating hatred.</p><p>“You ruined everything. Just like you always do.”</p><p>“Good to see you too, bro-man.”</p><p>Remus stood, just short of sword's reach, and swayed on his feet.</p><p>His head, usually abuzz with all manner of vile things, seemed to be working double time. He was channelling both sides of creativity in Roman's absence of the role, and it did not feel right. He struggled under the surge of ideas, some of which were strange to him. Saccharine and sentimental, and so very sweet, he found that the cloying notions stuck in his craw. He much preferred being grim and ghastly and gross, even if it did not make him the most likeable Side.</p><p>He scowled, trying to clear his head.</p><p>Roman observed his face pulling, and turned away.</p><p>“Disgusting. I do not even like to lay eyes upon you. Is there nothing you do not pollute with your flighty presence?”</p><p>“So what? What's so great and nice and sweet anyway. It's dull, if you ask me.”</p><p>“No-one ever asks your option.”</p><p>“Right enough, you were always the more popular creativity.”</p><p>Remus pauses, and considered that of the two, Roman was called upon more often. He used to be jealous, but now was finding the pressure and responsibilities were part of the respect given to the more palatable brother. Being good seemed like a whole lot of thankless work, from what he could see. He missed the simplicity of being 'bad'. </p><p>“I was popular... I was loved. No-one will ever love me like he did.”</p><p>Roman sighed and stroked against a piece of mirror.</p><p>Remus laughed, “He was, and I hope you don't mind me being blunt here, a disillusional despot hell-bent on destruction. I honestly think you could do better!”</p><p>Roman shook his head, “What we had was perfect. A perfect Love like no other.”</p><p>“What you had was a crash coarse in Infatuation. He took all the love and need to be loved that is in your stupidly soppy and soft heart, and then got you stuck in a feedback loop with your own reflection. He distorted you.”</p><p>He circled round, standing in Roman's eyeline, closer now.</p><p>“You worry you won't be loved because you have a couple of quirks and flaws. Here's news for you, perfect is boring! Its tiresome and predictable and you are none of those things. Or at least, you weren't! I'm not sure what to make of you now.”</p><p>“I am perfect now.”  Infatuation said.</p><p>“But you don't have to be! You deserve someone who will love you for who you are. Not some grand idealised version, but the real you. The true you.”<br/>
“I … ugh... love my twin brother, but this plastic, 'so called perfect' thing in front of me ain't him.”</p><p>Remus hissed under his breath, and lowered his voice. </p><p>  “I want my brother back. I'm done being the hero. It's not who I am; its like another type of distortion, filling the gaps left behind when you don't represent your side of creativity. It ought to be you, saving the day and pullin' everyone's collective balls out of the fire. If it were up to me, I'd leave them roasting.”<br/>
“But you wouldn't, cause you are the better of us; the true hero.”</p><p>Remus sighed and wrapped Roman in a hug, hoping that he would not get a sword through his chest for his efforts.</p><p>“So please Roman, come back.”</p><p>There was a clash, as the crown lost its grip and fell from Roman's head, and his eyes cleared. His skin lost it's porcelain blankness, and he blinked as he returned to Creativity. There was a pause, and then Roman returned the hug, before breaking away awkwardly. </p><p>Remus got up to his feet, feeling better already. “Thank fuck. That's my quota of helpful and nice for the year!”  he tipped his neck to the side, the bones making unpleasant cracking noises, “Now if you'll excuse me, I need to do destroy something pretty, see ya!”</p><p>Roman looked at the broken silver pieces strewn about the floor, “Wait! What about the Mirrorman?!” he asked.</p><p>But Remus was already gone, and there was a distance sound of a chainsaw being revved up.</p><p>*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*</p><p>Some destruction and havoc against a pile of soft toys later, and Remus was slouched on the sofa.</p><p>The other were busy, putting the Mirrorman away and re-enforcing his prison.</p><p>He'd already ground up the remaining piece he had stolen, and flushed it down the toilet with a spiteful growl; “That is for Roman you encrusted shit-stain. Hope that piece was something vital like your dick or frontal cortex!”</p><p>Done with some petty revenge, and with his shoes up on the coffee table, he looked about the area about him critically. </p><p>It seemed all far too basic, too 'pleasant'. There was no excitement, if everything stayed the same all the time.</p><p>He was debating surprising the others with an emergency re-decoration using a pair of paint guns, when he heard approaching footsteps. He looked over at the rest of the Sides, and saw Janus nodding that the job had been done.  A tension he had not realised he had been holding eased from his shoulders, and he made satisfied noise.</p><p>It was Patton who spoke first, the others quiet as if they had already discussed what would be said. </p><p>“Remus. I do not know what we would have done without you today...”</p><p>“Get yourselves royally fucked over, it would seem.”  Remus chuckled, </p><p>“Is there... some way we can thank you?”</p><p>“An orgy? With lime jello? And centipedes!?” Remus clapped his hands together with glee at the thought.</p><p>“No.” Logan was firm. </p><p>Remus slouched his shoulders, pretending to sulk.<br/>
“Ah well. Then probably not. Don't sweat it.”</p><p>He sighed, and looked about. “Ugh, happy endings are so trite.”  he rubbed at his chin thoughtfully.<br/>
“How about something a bit bolder! Oh! A twist;<i> I </i>was the Mirrorman all along!”</p><p>Patton for a brief moment looked panicked, but then saw Janus shake his head (smirking slightly) and Virgil cross his arms. </p><p>Remus shrugged, getting up from the sofa.<br/>
“Fine, keep your dull as dick-water ending!”</p><p>With that, and carrying his mace over a shoulder and whistling purposefully off-key, Remus swaggered off.</p><p>And they all lived happily ever after.</p>
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